Before you approach your mother about treatment, try to understand what she’s feeling. Be prepared for her to be defensive, and possibly even lash out and say something hurtful. Just remember: she is reacting in this way because she is struggling with a mental health issue. In times of crisis, we are all capable of hurting the ones we love without meaning to. Be gentle, be patient, and above all, be forgiving. Remind her often that you love her, and that you are doing your best to be there for her.
Although Anne is a mother, sometimes she doesn’t want to be. Not because she doesn’t love her children, but because the pressure and stress of being a mother become overwhelming during episodes of mental breakdowns. She experiences them every few months, but has never received treatment. She thinks of them as stressful episodes that are common among mothers, not knowing that in reality, they are signs of deep-rooted mental health issues that need to be addressed.
Stress is regular for any parent, so always bear in mind that your mother might have convinced herself that her episode (s) are completely normal. What you need to do is help her understand that with help, she will not only be able to cope with them better, she can also build up coping mechanism to help decrease their frequency and even prevent them in the future.
- Stress the flexible nature of treatment. Approaching your mother about mental health treatment can be an extremely tricky situation. This is especially true if she is already on the verge of, or in the midst of, a mental breakdown. Remember that she is from a different generation, when mental health problems were much more stigmatized, and that talking about her struggle may seem just as taxing to her as the struggle itself. Do your best to paint a picture of treatment that overcomes her misconceptions about recovery facilities. Talk to her about how both one-on-one and group therapy are all available treatment modalities. Most of all, remind her that she will not be embarking on this journey alone.
- Assure her that you’re in this together. Make sure she understands that once treatment begins, you’re not simply going to disappear. Let her know that you will be there to support her throughout the process, and can even participate in it through family therapy.
- Emphasize the lasting benefits. From mindfulness meditation to yoga, many of the therapies used in recovery can easily be continued after the stay. If your mother is artistic, emphasize art therapy and other creative activities used in holistic treatment. If she’s spiritual, talk about the use of spiritual development in recovery programs. Many people mistakenly believe that treatment programs are only useful while you’re there, not realizing that the tools and benefits are life-long.
As her child, you wield a special kind of influence in your mother’s life which no one else (besides, perhaps, your siblings) can wield. Yet you must also take extra care when approaching her, as your words carry more weight than those of a friend or acquaintance. By following these guidelines, you can use your influence to its best advantage in order to reignite hope and give your mother the gentle push she needs to understand her own potential for recovery.
