Growing up I was always envious of how well Josh balanced everything. During college he was able to hold down an internship at a great law firm and keep excellent grades in his classes. Following graduation, we both took a job at that same law firm. It was challenging for me at first, but he naturally excelled to become an outstanding young attorney and was made Partner by the time he was 30. Everything just always fell into place for Josh and he had it all—a successful career, an active social life and, of course, met and married the perfect woman. They decided to start a family, but it was when Jen became pregnant that things with Josh started to unexpectedly shift.
Josh was paranoid that a baby would change everything, and he became obsessed with crunching numbers to make sure they could financially afford their child while maintaining the lifestyle they enjoyed. Work began to pile up. Josh looked exhausted every day, and he began calling in sick and “working from home” in a very uncharacteristic manner. Colleagues asked if I knew what was going on with him, and everyone in the office thought Josh seemed depressed. When we were finally able to have an in-depth conversation, he confided in me that he felt like he was having a nervous breakdown and didn’t know what to do. He suddenly felt the pressures of work, family, and money overwhelming him. He didn’t want to stress Jen with his worries, but he also had begun to feel smothered by his own feelings and had no idea how to cope with being a rock for everyone else when he felt like everything in his life was spinning out of control. “It’s not that I’m sad or depressed,” he said. “It’s—I just can’t breathe.”
